


Starks Do Not

by tarialdarion



Series: Tumblr Prompts [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awkward Tony, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 22:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7380109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tarialdarion/pseuds/tarialdarion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anon: "since tony was a teenager he always got nervous when he was supossed to talk in front of people. and when he was nervous, he always spoke in incoherent sentences, he kept forgeting words etc. It stayed with him, so even now he sometimes struggles with it, but only when he is /extremely/ nervous. so imagine the day when he is standing in front of all the avengers to tell them something or ask them something he is really nervous about, and he can't form a single sentence, as he gets more worked up"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starks Do Not

It’s not that Tony couldn’t give speeches; it’s just that public speaking was nerve-wracking sometimes. Despite the many speech classes, the diction lessons, the practicing, and the constant lectures from his father, Tony never wanted to be a public figure. He learned to cope, to put on a façade and to portray the confident figure that he was meant to be, but a part of him always wished to be in his lab, fixing and building. Howard constantly reminded Tony of his future as a Stark and his duty to portray the company and the family in a strong and dignified manner.

* * *

Starks do not stutter. Starks do not freeze during a speech. Starks do not cry before or after standing on a stage. Starks do not show weakness.

* * *

The part of him that was terrified of failure and hated disappointing his father forced the fear down until a shiny grin and a quip could cover the tremor that ran through his hands occasionally. He had learned that the key was to never be vulnerable. If you were always one step ahead, always ready for the next question, you would never be taken off guard, searching for words that just wouldn’t come forward.

* * *

Starks do not stutter.

* * *

Years passed before the old fear resurfaced and Tony was against faced with the debilitating feeling of reaching for elusive words that slipped out of his grasp. He stuttered to a halt in the middle of his presentation, mind stalling and his mental landscape going gray in uncertainty. “I-it, uh…it….” His new teammates stared at him, varying looks of confusion and pity on their faces.

* * *

Starks do not freeze during a speech.

* * *

It wasn’t supposed to be a difficult presentation; it was barely even a presentation as he was just talking about some modifications to their equipment. However, it was the after-meeting bit that had Tony incredibly nervous: he was planning to ask to rejoin the team. Months of time away from the action had only caused his guilt to worsen and he was beginning to feel an itch that he knew he shouldn’t scratch. The Avengers had given him a team and some measure of support before Ultron; maybe he could find that again. Whatever their answer, Tony knew it was better for him to ask than to keep trying the ‘lonesome soldier’ bit until another Ultron happened.

The knowledge that this question was important didn’t stop him from halting in the middle of talking to the gathered heroes. “T-this seems like a good place for a break.” Tony stammered, turning to leave and loosening his tie.

* * *

Starks do not cry before or after standing on a stage.

* * *

Tony leaned against the wall in darkened hallway down from the room where they had met. He ran a shaky hand over his face and took a few deep, slow breaths. Breathe, he reminded himself. Just breathe.

He checked his watch. Just a few minutes and then he would have to get back. It would be awkward if they came searching for him. It would be even more awkward if they didn’t, he thought with a bitter smile, an ache pulsing in his heart.

* * *

Starks do not show weakness.

* * *

A figure appeared at the end of his hideaway, back-lit by the light from the main hallway. Tony said, “I’m fine, Natasha. I’ll be there in a moment.”, recognizing her even through the difficult lighting. Natasha scrutinized him carefully as Tony straightened, not quite meeting her eyes. She nodded once, her expression clearly saying what she was not putting into words, and then vanished.

Tony straightened his coat, took off his tie (it felt like it was strangling him), and unbuttoned the top collar button for a more casual look. He ran his fingers through his hair, blowing out a deep breath of air slowly, forcibly shoving aside the lingering shivers of nerves and fear spiking through him when he thought about possible rejection. Whatever happened next, he was facing it with his trademark Tony smirk and a bottle of Scotch afterwards. He deserved it.

* * *

Stark men are made of iron, Tony.


End file.
